“Stay in the stress”

For anyone who knows me, you know I love guiding people in lowering their stress, building healthier systems, and getting curious about what can be cleared to make space for more ease.
And while I’ll never stop living that way, lately I’ve been exploring a different angle:
what happens when we stay in the kinds of stress that push us to our growth edge?

Before you dive in, please note that I am not advocating for the idea that experiencing high stress regularly is healthy.
However, I am particularly curious about the lessons we can take away with us when we don’t shy away from growth edge stress.

Little story time that I promise will apply to business at the end:

I hadn’t really ever paid much attention to the potential lessons I could learn from growth edge stress until my partner said a simple statement to me while he was belaying me on a difficult climbing route that I was projecting.

“Stay in the stress” he said to me from the ground

WHAT?!
Stay in the stress?
What the heck is he saying?
I am the queen of doing everything I can to get myself out of stressful moments.
I don’t want to be in this moment anymore. This stress hurts and is scary.

But as I’m hanging on to what feels like a freaking thread, I wondered what he actually meant by that.

Here’s how my thought process went:

What would happen if I did stay in the stress?

Because I already know exactly what is going to happen if I step out of the stress.
I will be lowered down to the ground, probably disappointed, and I won’t ever know what could have happened up there.

Even though I’m extremely uncomfortable, what could happen if I leaned into the stress of this experience instead of trying to shut it down?

✧✦ Why am I so quick to quitting or “letting go” of something when I experience stress? Is it because I’ve got a story in my head that I’m not capable of enduring it? Is it because I’m afraid of failing/falling? Is it because I associate stress with meaning something is bad?

How is failing/falling actually defined in this situation?

Who decides what failing means?

I ended up having him lower me after I allowed each of those thoughts and stories to flow through my body. And as my feet reached the ground, for the first time, I wasn’t disappointed, but instead, I was honestly deeply curious.

That curiosity only brought on determination, rather than defeat.

After about 2 weeks of projecting that route—I finally made it up to the top.

And as cliche as this sounds…it wasn’t about getting to the top.
This route was all about the process
Leaning into the stress
Utilizing the stress
Honoring the stress
And because I created space to sit in that stress, I realized how strong I actually was.

I had NO idea that I was capable of solving something so challenging. And I would have never figured that out if I just kept letting go when the stress became uncomfortable.

That route continues to be such a profound example of how important it is to sometimes
sit in the stress instead of just letting go and never finding out what happens after you make it through the discomfort.

How have I applied this moment to my business?

Daily, I am faced with:

- Uncomfortable situations where I don’t understand something that has to be completed

- Having to teach myself things I never thought in a million years I’d have to keep my business up and running

- Feeling wild fear and anxiety that I didn’t do something correct and the IRS is coming for me

- Situations that are completely out of my control

- Pivoting quickly when suppliers make mistakes

- Having to be my own boss and motivator to get each step completed every day

^ When any or all of those pop up, I typically freeze and instantly find myself hating the stress of those situations. I get freaked out, shut down, and convince myself that I am not capable of “getting to the top,” just like the first 4 times I was on that route.

But now I’m aiming to stay in the stress of those daily moments. Because if I resist and avoid the intense discomfort, I will never succeed in owning and growing a business.

For me, I notice that I actually perform really well when I make it past the stories I’m telling myself and then transition into experiencing the juicy lessons of staying in the stress, even when the discomfort feels unbearable.

So my insight to share is:

• Owning your own business will have moments of high stress. That I can tell you with certainty. So there’s no reason to ever be surprised by them lol

• You don’t have to be rerailed by the high stress. You are capable of trying and seeing what happens

  • You may not actually solve the problem, the route, the situation, BUT you will have a lesson to bring with you that you wouldn’t have received if you didn’t at least try

• Choosing to actively stay in the stress instead of just giving up can be one of the most powerful feelings out there.

• There is healthy stress and unhealthy stress. And sometimes, on the surface level, the healthy stress can look and smell like it’s going to kill you.
  It may ‘work you’, but it won’t end you 😉

• And if you are feeling really afraid to stay in the stress, it’s time to check in with yourself. Without judgment, remember that odds are high you're not actually unsafe, but instead feeling insecure, unprepared, or uninformed enough to understand the situation. (Another fantastic wisdom drop I’ve learned from my partner)

Stay in the stress with awareness
See what happens

with love,
katie

PS

* If you are someone who is always avoiding high stress at all costs, give yourself some grace before any judgment. There’s always a rooted reason why we do the things we do or do not do. I know for me personally, I have a deep fear and PTSD from my body shutting down and getting very sick after experiencing consistent, misaligned, high-stress situations.
There is a difference between staying in the stress of a growing situation vs staying in the stress of a very toxic situation.